Stole this from somewhere and it's been gold: instead of nagging the steps, I ask 'what's your plan for getting ready?' and let him tell ME. Puts him in the driver's seat and the resistance drops. Anyone else got a phrase that flipped a power struggle?
4 replies
Michelle K
6 May 2026
'Do you want to do X or Y first?' — the illusion of control over the order kills 90% of the fight. Not WHETHER, just which order.
Dave T
7 May 2026
'I can see this is hard. What would help?' Sometimes the answer is silly, sometimes it's genuinely useful, but asking instead of directing changed the whole vibe.
Jen R
7 May 2026
'What's your plan' is brilliant because it builds the executive function muscle instead of being his external brain forever. Stealing it.
Tom N
7 May 2026
Mine's 'first/then' — 'first shoes, then we can…'. Boring but it works every single time when I remember to use it.
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