Every night it's the same battle. My 9yo takes 2+ hours to do 20 minutes of homework. There's crying, negotiating, meltdowns, and by the end we're all exhausted and angry. His teacher says he needs to "just try harder." I'm ready to throw in the towel. What strategies have worked for you?
3 replies
Lisa W
25 February 2026
First — talk to the teacher about reducing the load. Most schools will accommodate this with a diagnosis. 20 minutes of focused work should be the MAX for a 9yo with ADHD. Second: timing matters. Right after school is the WORST time. We do homework after dinner when my daughter has had time to decompress, eat, and move her body.
Sarah M
25 February 2026
Things that helped us: 1) Timer visible ("Let's see how much we can do in 10 minutes"). 2) Break it into tiny chunks with movement breaks between. 3) Fidget toys while listening to instructions. 4) Sit WITH them (body doubling). 5) A specific homework spot that's clutter-free and away from distractions.
Michelle K
26 February 2026
Controversial opinion: if homework is destroying your relationship with your child, it's not worth it. Talk to the school about reducing or eliminating it. The research on homework benefits for primary-age kids is thin at best. Your relationship with your child is more important than any worksheet.
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