Every single day my 7yo walks through the door and explodes. Screaming, throwing things, sometimes hitting. She holds it together all day at school and then falls apart at home. The school says she's fine there so they don't see the problem. I feel like I'm going crazy. Is this normal for ADHD kids?
4 replies
Michelle K
23 February 2026
This is SO common it has a name — "after-school restraint collapse." Your daughter is using all her executive function and emotional regulation capacity at school, and by the time she gets home (where she feels safe), she has nothing left. It's actually a sign that she trusts you. I know that doesn't make it easier in the moment, but it's not a behaviour problem — it's a capacity problem.
Sarah M
23 February 2026
We deal with this too. What helped: 1) Snack ready the second they walk in (hangry + depleted = disaster). 2) Zero demands for the first 30 minutes. No "how was school?", no homework, no chores. Just let them decompress. 3) Sensory activities — trampoline, playdough, even just lying on the floor with the dog.
Dave T
23 February 2026
Tell the school about it. Even if she's "fine" there, they need to know the cost. A good school will consider this when planning her day. Maybe she needs more breaks, or less social demand in the afternoon, or a calm transition activity before pick-up.
Jen R
23 February 2026
I literally cried reading these replies. "It's a capacity problem, not a behaviour problem" — that shift in thinking is everything. Thank you all so much.
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