My 9yo has ADHD and anxiety. They're constantly at war with each other — the ADHD wants to be impulsive and the anxiety is paralysed by fear. She won't try new things, melts down over small changes, and worries about EVERYTHING. How do you even parent this combo?
3 replies
Michelle K
9 March 2026
ADHD + anxiety is SO common. The key insight: anxiety in ADHD kids often comes from years of 'getting it wrong' — they've internalised that they'll fail, forget, or mess up. So anxiety is actually a protective response. Treatment needs to address both: reduce the executive function demands (ADHD supports) while building confidence (anxiety work). CBT adapted for ADHD can be really effective.
Lisa W
9 March 2026
We see this combo a lot at school. These kids need MORE predictability, not less. Visual schedules, advance warning of changes, and a safe person they can go to when overwhelmed. At home: validate the anxiety (don't dismiss it) but gently encourage small brave steps. 'I can see you're worried. What's the smallest first step?'
Sarah M
9 March 2026
My daughter has both too. The thing that helped most was getting the ADHD managed first (for us, medication), which reduced the overwhelm, which then reduced the anxiety. Her psych said 'treat the ADHD and often half the anxiety resolves on its own.' That was true for us.
Want to join the conversation?
Open it in the community →